If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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