how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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