i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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