Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize