I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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