Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
