we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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