with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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