D3 body, D1 cock
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
