Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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