New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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