Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
