I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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