I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
