I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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