sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
