after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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