It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
