I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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