sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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