How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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