doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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