what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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