he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
