If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
