I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
