I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
