my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
