you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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