im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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