the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
