I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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