They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
