I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
