Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
