OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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