remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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