i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
