Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize