I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
