who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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