i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
