just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
