What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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