We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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