She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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