it was like eating out sand paper
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
