I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
