it was like having sex with a tree stump
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
