White coat. Heels.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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