Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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