OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This girl is more easily done than said...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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