Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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