I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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