K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
