she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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