Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
