garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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