should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
