I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
