Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
