i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
