What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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