I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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