You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
