1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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