Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
