Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
