Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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