also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
