I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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